Recipe for a Great Morning

1) Drink some whiskey late at night before going to bed. A nightcap if you will. Mix it with Coke if you want, doesn't matter, just make it a drink you'll feel.

2) Wake up the next morning and do your thing. Eat, shower, etc.

3) Once at work, drink a coffee or similarly caffeinated beverage.

4) Head immediately for the nearest stall because you're going to have a bowel emptying shit in about 2 minutes.

And boy will it make your morning.